you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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