Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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