i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
