drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
