hotel room ftw
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
