Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize