So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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