I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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