did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
