Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize