cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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