I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
