I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
