do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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