So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I have feelings that need drinking.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
