So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
