Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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