at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
