I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
