What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I am puke
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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