You just made me feel so damn special
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
