Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize