We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The adults are the big ones right?
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