oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
