I heard we made out
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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