i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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