Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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