i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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