just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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