There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
