Im at strip club and am horny
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
