Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize