Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
