I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I would ride that face into the sunset
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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