is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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