there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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