if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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