my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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