I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
