My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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