Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
