covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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