One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
