Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
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Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize