Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
