i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where does the pee come out of this thing
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Are my feet made of real feet?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize