dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
