I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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