last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
