Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
