Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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