Have you finally orgasmed yet?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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