I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
