great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
