Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
worst night to have a conscience
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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