hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
