didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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