i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize